First I want to say thank you so much for all of your support via comments/tweets/emails/messages etc. on my last post. I can’t tell you how much it means to me! I knew I had nothing to worry about by sharing the big decision. 

***

I am proud to say that this was my 5th consecutive year running Sporting Life 10K with Nolan’s Dream Chasers to raise funds for Camp Oochigeas. This year marks Nolan’s one-year Cancer-free anniversary and our team raised over $15,000 to commemorate the occasion. Thank you to everyone who has supported us over the years!

I knew I wasn’t going to race the 10K after putting in a hard effort at the Toronto Half last weekend, but I did want to use it as a workout incorporated into a long run. Hubs and I devised a plan to park near the finish, run the route in reverse [uphill] to the start and then use the race as a glorified tempo run.

It was an early (and cold!) morning, leaving the car to start our “warm-up” at about 6:15. I wore a jacket and my small Nathan backpack (without the bladder) so I could stuff it in for the race. I didn’t want to bother with bag check since it would probably already be very crowded by the time we go to the start.

City streets were relatively quiet and it was pretty neat to run the route that I know so well, but in reverse. It certainly is a lot harder going up. Course profile, start to finish:

We wanted 12K to start the day, so we looped around some side streets once we made it to the starting area, hit the port-o-potties and pretty much had to line up in the corrals, which were quickly filling up. At 8am, we were off. We were lined up pretty close to the front and I didn’t have to do much weaving at all. From what I learned later on, it was pure mayhem if you were much farther back. I heard that the water stations were impossible (too short and not enough volunteers), but thankfully I had my own water from the first part of our run so I stayed in the middle of the road and out of the chaos. There were also a lot of issues with pedestrians crossing the race traffic – extra course marshals around busy intersections would have been beneficial.

I know this course like the back of my hand and I really love it. It’s mostly a straight shot net downhill, with only 5 turns (all of which in the last 3K). There are a couple of inclines, but there’s no question this is a fast downhill course. The tough thing is, it flattens out and you hit the turns after an easy-peasy first 7K and suddenly it gets really tough. I felt like I was losing steam over these last couple of miles and had to work harder to keep my pace under 5:00/KM, which had been “cruising pace” (or comfortably hard, as I like to call it) up to this point. I recognized a friend as he flew by me, exchanged a few words and then tried to keep up with him on the home stretch.

We had a pretty serious headwind the entire race with 25kph winds and 40+ gusts from the south and west (the entire course runs south and west). I wouldn’t say it had an impact on my time, but I definitely noticed it.

I hadn’t reset my Garmin after the first portion of our run that morning, so I wasn’t paying too much attention to finish time. I did monitor my lap pace throughout and expected to be just under 50 minutes. Ding, ding, ding!

49:39
1st half- 24:59
2nd half- 24:41
2936/21845 overall
142/2099 females
741/9014 F30-34

It took a while for Hubs and I to re-connect among the masses and we were both freezing! I managed to bump into some of Nolan’s Dream Chasers to share congrats, but unfortunately we couldn’t hang around this year. We still had a 2K run back to the car and nothing warm/dry to change in to.

Total distance for the day: 24K including a 10K quality portion for a great cause!

***

Unfortunately there has been a lot of negative controversy surrounding the race regarding the logistics and some off-base comments from the race director.  From what I hear, they are hoping for even greater numbers next year so hopefully they will get their act together. I mentioned the issues with the water stations and lack of course marshals, but the worst part was a terrible back-log for runners around the 1-hour mark who couldn’t even get across the finish line. The Sporting Life 10K has been a benchmark event for Toronto and it raises a lot of money for a great charity, so it is really disappointing. I defer to Kenny’s posts for the whole story.

Where to begin? I might as well just blurt it out: I have decided to back out of Ironman Lake Placid. I did not come to this decision lightly or easily – far from it! In fact, this was a much harder decision than it was to sign up in the first place. I feel such a sense of relief that I know it was the right one. Deep down inside, I think I came to the realization that I didn’t want to go through with it several weeks ago; I just didn’t allow myself to consider pulling the plug. I kept catching myself feeling (and even verbalizing) that I just wanted to get it over with and I knew my heart was not in it. This is no way to approach an Ironman, and I finally recognized that I no longer had the drive or desire to get to the start line – let alone the finish line. I was afraid of letting myself down, of feeling like a quitter, of facing the judgment of myself and others. With a little bit of help from good friends, I ultimately discovered that it takes a lot of courage not to pursue a commitment this big [to myself] and it is not something to be ashamed of. I also needed to allow myself to make the right decision for me, right now, regardless of what others may think or say.

The mental hurdles I faced in coming to this conclusion were exhausting to say the least and involved more than one melt down. I am so thankful for the support network I was able to rely on who helped talk me through the decision process. I was squarely on the fence for a while before I ultimately realized that if the answer is not a resounding yes, then it is an obvious no. The tremendous relief I felt just by giving myself permission to consider this option affirmed my answer. I am a little disappointed that it didn’t work out, but I am so relieved and have zero regrets.

I’ve found myself on a difficult path this year and if there’s one thing I have learned, it’s that life is too short to spend time and energy on things that are not important to me. Priorities change, plans change and this is just not going to be my Ironman year. There may come another time, or there may not. At the moment, I am ready to hang up my bike and goggles (except on a casual/fun/cross-training level) and hit the ground running – literally!

I was never able to find a groove with triathlon training and instead spent week after week trying to turn things around, coming up short and feeling like crap. I continued going through the motions even though all I wanted to do was RUN. I vocalized this to hubs and a few others, that I couldn’t wait to get back to my focus on running. Running makes feel satisfied, accomplished and most of all, happy. I’m sure IMLP would have been a very satisfying accomplishment, but it has been hanging over my head and making me miserable. I would only be going through with it at this point to earn the title of “Ironman”, which is simply not worth it to me.

So what now?

In the past couple of weeks since making the decision official, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I’m excited about training again and ready for a running comeback. Tomorrow kicks off Week 1 of my newest Hubs-certified training plan for the Toronto Waterfront Marathon in October (which is conveniently on my Birthday this year!) and I couldn’t be happier.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” -Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

On Sunday we ran the Goodlife Fitness Toronto Half Marathon, which I had surprisingly never run previously. I did run the full back in 2010 and had a terrible race, which is probably why I haven’t gone “running” back to it. However, I was really excited about it this year as a ton of friends were running and I was anxious to see how much I had improved since my first half this year in March.

It turned out to be a beautiful day – definitely a little too beautiful (i.e. hot and sunny) for racing. Since we’ve had such a late spring here (we had snow a few short weeks ago), we are just not acclimated to running in warm temps just yet. Last week was my first time wearing shorts and a tank top to run all season. That being said, at least we weren’t dealing with the dreaded humidity and it certainly could have been worse. Of course, I was really glad not to be running a marathon that day and I was feeling for my friends who were going to be out there much longer. Luckily they started a little earlier at 7:30 – we started the half at 8:30.

Hubs and I parked and showed up at the start just as the marathoners were taking off. We met up with Kelly  and the rest of our gang who were either running the half or spectating for some good lucks and photos. We knew it was going to be a warm one when we ditched the throw-aways early and felt perfectly comfortable standing around in our running gear. You always want to feel cold at the start! A couple of potty stops and it was time to line up. I put myself behind the 1:50 pace crowd and randomly bumped into my good friend Lisa in the masses. Isn’t it the best feeling when you find someone by accident in a crowd of thousands??

Soon enough, we were off!

It’s a point-to-point race beginning at the very north end of the city, winding down along city streets on a net downhill course to the finish line by the lake. It started out crowded. I was packed in, shuffling along and trying to find some kind of running pace among the masses. Note to self: line up closer to the front next time. There wasn’t a corral system, which unfortunately meant many people were not lined up correctly. This is no big surprise so I just went with the flow until it seemed to open up a bit after a kilometre or so. The good thing is, this is a great way to prevent going out too fast. I didn’t really know what pace to expect (although I was hoping for sub-1:55) and decided to run based on effort. I had told a friend earlier in the week that you should feel uncomfortable during a half marathon, so I reminded myself of that and let myself push out of that comfort zone.

From KM1-10 we are running in a straight line south on Lakeshore. There are some undulations, but it is a definite net downhill. Leading up the 4th kilometre marker is the infamous “Hoggs Hollow” hill. It’s quite long and fairly steep – definitely no walk in the park. But knowing that it is the only significant hill of the course and the fact that it comes so early on make it totally manageable. However, I remember noticing that it was tougher than I had remembered. It was great to see quite a few spectators out lining the street, many with their dogs and coffees, as well as the die-hards with cowbells and signs.

At 11K we made the turn to head down (literally!) Rosedale Valley and Bayview. The course is very friendly here with a winding, downhill grade and I cruised along pretty comfortably. I had a flash-back to the day I ran this marathon when I realized during this stretch that it was not going to be a good day. Thankfully I felt much better this time around – and only had about 6K to go by the time we hit the next turn.

This last stretch was all along downtown streets, mostly in a straight line toward the finish. I really started to feel the heat of the sun pounding down and doused myself in water more than once. My thoughts returned to our friends running the marathon and I hoped they were handling it okay. I was fully in count-down-the-kilometres mode and also knew I was looking at a finish in the low-1:50s if I could hold on, so that pumped me up. The last few KMs ended up being my fastest of the day.

Heading into the crowds, we still had to make another turn to the finish and I had no idea how much farther it was going to be. My Garmin distance was off (+200m) due to wonky GPS signal among the high-rises/bridges on certain sections of the course, so I knew I wasn’t looking for 21.1. I tried picking people off and finally made it across the line feeling and looking like a hot mess.

(Notes on fuel: gel at 7K and 14K; salt at start and 10K; ~750mL water from my handheld – refilled once)

1:51:48
1092/4490 overall
344/2434 females
61/400 F30-34

That equates a 5 minute improvement over the half in March, with an average heart rate 13bpm lower. I’m definitely happy with those stats!

Congrats to Hubs on his 1:33 – a big step in his own comeback!

Clearly I haven’t been posting much lately, so I thought I’d share a catch-all photo post (mostly via Instagram) of what I’ve been up to recently.

Watch for a Toronto Half Marathon recap next week, as well as an “announcement” of sorts.

celebrated the one-year anniversary of bringing Miles home

first bike-mutes of the season, some at sub-freezing

welcoming a new fur-baby into the family – my sister’s chihuahua Lucy (Miles is unimpressed)

eating lots of yummy food

runs with our newest running buddy – he runs 10K with us regularly and has done up to 10 miles a couple times

homemade pizza night with friends

sweat-fests now that the weather has finally turned

lots of adventuring with the pup

Have a great weekend!